Why I Don't Like the Giants

On a scale of 1-10, my spite for the Giants sits at around 8.67. I think I get bonus points for bringing Shawon Dunston into this post. Forgot he played for us, didn't you?

I'm going to take a moment to state a personal vendetta here.

I do not like the Giants.

I don't like their uniforms. I don't like their GM. I don't like Randy Winn. I don't like that freakin' huge glove and Coca Cola in left field. I don't like how they personally tailored their stadium for Barry Bonds. I don't like how they most likely knew Bonds was juicing and looked the other way. I don't like Dusty "Dugout Dice" Baker. I don't like that their fans eat garlic fries and tropical drinks. Tropical drinks.

I don't like that this man played for them.

And especially not this man.

Or him.

And, God save us all, my favorite.

I'm not putting a picture of him in a Giants uni. I won't do it, can't do it, shouldn't do it. They aren't winning that war.

I don't like that I have to stay up extra late when we play in San Francisco. I don't like Yorvit freakin' Torrealba and his tan. I don't like the 2002 World Series. I don't like the Splash-O-Meter. I don't like Brian Wilson's tattoos. I don't like that they have Tim Lincecum. And Matt Cain. And Jonathan Sanchez. And Jeremy Affeldt. I don't like the boats. And I do love boats.

But, most of all, I don't like the way we play them. The bats go numb, the pitches go flat, and a team that should be beat suddenly becomes unbeatable. Did I expect us to win a Lincecum-Thompson matchup last night? I was just watching for the commercials. The Giants are no longer that team with a bunch of old guys and a crazy GM that trades for more old guys. They have one of the best rotations in the NL, and a crazy GM who keeps toying their fans with ridiculous trade rumors.

I don't like the Giants, and now it's because I can honestly say that they're good. Not great, but a whole lot better than I ever imagined. It's a good thing we have an ace of our own going tonight, as they have another lefty to throw at us. Oh yeah, and his name is Randy Johnson.