How do you give possession to a first name that looks like the singular form of a dining establishment without indicating possession of said restaurant? Dennys's? If you clicked away now I wouldn't blame you.

Tomorrow (or rather, Today) is a travel day for me, and by travel I mean moving around outside the house for longer than 2 minutes. So, for your enjoyment, and perhaps a documentary of the general IQ of the fine population of the Greater Oakland Area, here is every reason the A's should stay in Oakland: to keep seeing the whitest version of the Dirty Bird/Funky Chicken ever performed on the roof of a moving Volvo. Am I fully prepared to ghost ride my Pontiac for the Cardinals to acquire Mark DeRosa? YES. Am I prepared to do the Dirty Bird while doing so? If called upon.