Quick hits: Pujols, aliens, punching people, Izzy, and Niko

Yay!!! Albert Pujols will be making his return today at DH, batting third and sandwiched between Amazin' Aaron Miles and Troy Glaus. He still has plenty of time to make enough of an impact to make the All-Star game, but I'm sure that's the last thing on his mind. Staying healthy, helping his team win, and making sure Adam Kennedy never goes near first base with a glove again are his top priorities.

"Something crazy has to happen ... for me not to play." [mang]

Enough said. While Pujols is more assertive, Mulder still has a bit cautiousness to him, waiting to see how the situation will play out, looking at it from different sides, researching his possible scenarios, and slicking his hair back. Kind of like someone from television. Someone who beat up aliens.

"They just told me to get on a plane and come here," he said. . . "I felt a little something between the shoulder blades," he said. "I didn't really think anything of it, but as the day went on, it got tighter and tighter. . . "I tried to play catch and I couldn't do that either. Let's wait to see how it feels."

I think it's pretty obvious what's happening here. Mulder has been infected by an alien virus, which will probably put him out for a couple weeks. I know he should have had the HazMats properly inspect that mound in Memphis before he got on it. Best of luck to him with that.

Moving on, a good way to get traded might just be to punch the person responsible for trading you in the face. That's what Shawn Chacon did to Astros GM Ed Wade, or at least was going to do before his conscious dragged him away, a conscious named Reggie Abercrombie. Chacon has been horrible this season. It's probably a publicity stunt to make people remember the Astros after they fell behind the Pirates in the standings. The Pirates.

Jason Isringhausen gave up his first earned run since May 15 yesterday, and I have a feeling it won't be the last. I'm just hoping that Izzy stays away from anything later than the 7th inning for at least a couple more weeks. That's probably not going to happen.

Yay, Niko Vasquez. One of my new favorite Cardinals farmhands is making waves in Johnson City so far, batting .370/.452/.481 at shortstop. Future Redbirds has a write-up on him here, and you can see a short video of him below. Keep an eye on him, as he has the potential to move up the lower ranks quickly.

Video Posted from Niko's Gallery on Takkle.com

For the toasted ravioli-eating, Ted Drewes-slurping, St. Louis Zoo-visiting, InBev-loathing Cardinals fans in the audience, mosquitoes with West Nile Virus have been spotted throughout St. Louis County. Make sure you wear insect repellent and stay away from Lake Busch outside the stadium downtown.

That's it for today. Enjoy the game. It already started. Go Spain.